Understanding 'existence' is no big thing, but what to do with that knowledge once you gain it ...
Alan Wilson Watts died from exhaustion and alcoholism at 58 in the almost impossible attempt to support his wives and numerous progeny ...ignominious end to someone who was/is considered a 'genius' and guru to many, even today.
My own father, a brilliant man same generation as Watts died same way and prematurely ...supporting the numerous lazy women in my family and their unending need for financial support.
Point being, personal knowledge of the infinite doesn't exempt you from the 'mundane' things in life like disease, family, friends or even death ...understanding a thing doesn't make you immune to the negative effects of such things, or being overwhelmed by them.
So, as Watts once said to
someone who asked him about god (paraphrased) "Just shut up and suck on your lollipop ..."
Cheers