For a womans conceal carry I like the glock 26. 9mm holding 10 rounds
It is very small and is only a little over 6oz when loaded. It fits a womans small hands nicely.
9mm is a small enough round to give light recoil. Again, the best firearm is one that you can hit the target with, but if it is so big or heavy you leave it at home its worse than missing your target.
http://www.glockworld.com/glock_subcompact.htm
stats here