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Old June 17th, 2011 #11
Alex Linder
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 45,354
Blog Entries: 34
Alex Linder

Originally Posted by Danielle View Post
"Fuck Tucker. Tucker sucks" - George Carlin

I'll be damned. That's what I've always referred to as "stripper conversation". It's what I've admittedly employed on first dates and job interviews, but it leaves a hollow tang. As far as influence it won't give you more than an inch. Some can take an inch and run a mile, but that's not a skill one can learn from poking their nose in a book or reading forums.
Well, I haven't read Carnegie's book, I'm sure there's a little more to it than that, along the lines of "few people succeed unless a lot of others want them to." I think C's thing is to get people 1) to like you, and then 2) to help you. And I guess at some point you influence them in line with the theory, "they don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

Carnegie's way is inherently more feminine than masculine because it's passive, at least at the start. You're trying to fit yourself to the other person, to make yourself agreeable, as a way to win them over, preparatory to using them to advance your own interests through their help or by influencing them. Of course, it needn't be cynical, it could also turn into a true friendship where there's mutual appreciation and aid.