Brutus: That is very nice of you and your wife to try to help that poor girl. Hopefully, she is at least 16 or 17 now and doesn't have too many more years of that abuse and neglect to endure. Yeah, mom sounds like your typical pos mother who brings some scum into her home (usually to help with bills and give her sex) only to have her children pay a dear price for that. I saw that over and over when I did CPS. I have always thought the mom should be prosecuted for child abuse when she brings someone in to her home and her children end up abused or dead.
Foster care is a hit or miss proposition with the county welfare offices. I saw some absolutely fantastic foster care homes where the children were treated so wonderfully by the foster parents and the children absolutely thrived in their new environment. And I saw some not so great foster homes that had to be shut down due to various problems. I never saw anything horrible in a foster care home, only mildly inappropriate I guess.
Hopefully, you and your wife can help the girl get back on track. I'm sure the mother isn't interested at all in trying to get the child off meds because she's getting money now. It's probably helping to pay for her booze and/or drug habit or at least help pay the bills. So, there's no incentive there.
Just support the girl and talk to her and let her talk as much as she wants. Hopefully, the guy isn't sexually abusing her too. Try to get your wife to keep the lines of communication open with her and let her know she can tell you all anything. And offer her your couch or a bedroom whenever she wants to get away.
That's very nice of you and your wife. There are so many needy white children out there. Unfortunately, all white people are not upright and solid and capable and willing to care for their own. For a lot of reasons. Mostly drug and alcohol from what I've seen.
If I were in a better financial situation, I might consider adopting a white child in need. I normally don't approve of single parent homes, but growing up unwanted and unloved is not something I would wish on any white child.
Actually, what children need more than anything when they're young is stability, and that's where so many homes go wrong. The parents may love their children, but they don't provide them with the stability and safety that children desperately need in order to grow up to be healthy adults. Children survive a loveless childhood all the time, but what they can't overcome is an unstable and unsafe home.
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.