say what you mean,then follow up
I got beat from birth to the time I finely escaped,so I elected not to hit my kids and carry on the ignorant tradition I was placed in.
I learned early on to fight nonwhites and never developed the ideas of physically disciplining tiny children.
I figured that if I couldn't at least out smart my own kids, then I wasn't much of a parent,father,husband or white human being.
Today,my kids are in college and doing fine.Yes they still "try" me occasionally,as they always have done,but I've always viewed it as a challenge to my intellect rather than a resistance to my authority.
I don't regret NOT spanking them today,as they are very successful,happy,healthy people.
Read a few child physiology books,but don't take the crap too seriously; and learn to speak directly and honestly with your children.Actually doing what you promise, works wonders ,I've found.