[Meg Kafka]

the government ran a pizza shop.

1) It would outlaw all other pizza shops.

2) It would be open from 9am to 4pm.

3) It would offer one topping: cheese.

4) It would jack up the price of cheese pizzas every six months.

5) The media would claim if it weren't for the government, rural people and minorities wouldn't have access to pizzas.

6) The media would advocate for Pizza Department expansion into cheeseburgers.

The natural and inevitable tendency is for all governments to evolve into East Germany.


7. They would declare that pizza is healthy for you, and put it atop the food pyramid