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Old November 22nd, 2010 #1
Alex Linder
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Default Special* Joke Thread

* special = your post must be limited to snips n clips you have taken from the internet you find funny. not jokes. not your own words. purely discontexted unintentional humor only, otherwise use the other joke thread you paleonitwit.

Last edited by Alex Linder; November 22nd, 2010 at 10:10 PM.
 
Old November 22nd, 2010 #2
Alex Linder
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I realized I have an AMAZING group of friends. They brought me every type of candy they could think of. One baked me a massive cupcake
 
Old November 23rd, 2010 #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ray bateson View Post
"For almost all our history as a species, being infested was an inescapable fact of life, and our forebears achieved an intimacy with nature that we can scarcely imagine. European lovers of the 17th century sometimes wrote seduction poems about a girlfriend's fleas. John Donne once petulantly complained that a flea, having bitten boy and girl alike, "swells with one blood made of two / and alas this is more than we would do." A few gallant French lovers actually plucked a flea from their lady love and kept it as a pet in a tiny gold cage at the neck, where it could feed daily on their own blood. In Siberia, according to one story, an explorer was disconcerted to find that young women visiting his hut tossed lice at him; it turned out to be their way of expressing amorous intentions. Clearly, this would not be a successful dating strategy today."
funny but doesn't fit.

we're going for unintentional comedy. the above is intended to be interesting and funny, and is, but this thread is for UNINTENTIONAL comedy.
 
Old November 23rd, 2010 #4
Leonard Rouse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Linder View Post
I realized I have an AMAZING group of friends. They brought me every type of candy they could think of. One baked me a massive cupcake
I didn't get this at first, but now it's freaking hilarious.
 
Old November 23rd, 2010 #5
Alex Linder
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Originally Posted by Leonard Rouse View Post
I didn't get this at first, but now it's freaking hilarious.
Really, why? I just think it's kind of funny. I get these off Jezebel.com, which is sort of an undeclared unintentional comedy central. Like a site for crazy people who don't realize they're crazy.

I used to cry when I saw someone eating alone and looking sad in the dining hall because I thought I could imagine how they felt
 
Old November 24th, 2010 #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Linder View Post
Really, why? I just think it's kind of funny. I get these off Jezebel.com, which is sort of an undeclared unintentional comedy central. Like a site for crazy people who don't realize they're crazy.
It took me a while to realize that a massive cupcake is . . . a cake. I laughed about it last night.

Quote:
I used to cry when I saw someone eating alone and looking sad in the dining hall because I thought I could imagine how they felt
Unhinged hilarity.

The thing is, a lot of people really do feel in this manner. I suspect Whites on the "left" have a higher degree of this (fervid) imaginary empathy than Whites on the "right." But these latter folks still get hoodwinked on the high points of the program. . .race, jews, et al. The Holohoax relies at its core on this response in its targets.

For instance, I think a lot of the anti-death penalty folks--rank & file I mean, not the ringleaders--imagine themselves to be taking the needle, etc, or imagine themselves waiting for execution. Kind of a mental fetish. It's not so much that they're pro-nigger/spic/crime (though that plays, too, at least the first two), it's that they imagine how horrible it truly is, mix in "two wrongs don't make a right" pseudo-philosophy and think up a cause.

Same with the sundry environmental stuff. The rank & file greenie. . .many of them actually imagine themselves as whales, etc. . .or even trees. PETA people might be the ultimate example of this mentality run amok.

And the cafeteria person. . .I can say with 99.9% certainty that it's a young White woman--even without the Jezebel reference. Just like in these environmental groups it's 90+% White.

Probably the same phenomenon in the pro-life movement. It fits the pattern.
 
Old November 25th, 2010 #7
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Originally Posted by Leonard Rouse View Post
It took me a while to realize that a massive cupcake is . . . a cake. I laughed about it last night.
yeah, there was actually some back and forth on that. i guess there is some tiny difference, but yeah its basically we have a term for that it's called CAKE you goofy bint!

Quote:
The thing is, a lot of people really do feel in this manner. I suspect Whites on the "left" have a higher degree of this (fervid) imaginary empathy than Whites on the "right."
extremely sensitive people are the biggest assholes in the world.

look, nobody really gets anyone else. that's why we have manners. and your job, as one of the human throng, is to realize in any relation there will be some bumps and cuts. dont take it too personally. get over yourself. think of others a little. and show some manners. that's the best we can do. hey, i didn't make the world, i cant be held legally responsible. i dont like it any better than you men.

Quote:
But these latter folks still get hoodwinked on the high points of the program. . .race, jews, et al. The Holohoax relies at its core on this response in its targets.
yes. there is a time in life when people can be morally inflamed, and its when they're young and their heart is open. and the jews channel this impulse into their foul lagoon of lies.

Quote:
For instance, I think a lot of the anti-death penalty folks--rank & file I mean, not the ringleaders--imagine themselves to be taking the needle, etc, or imagine themselves waiting for execution. Kind of a mental fetish. It's not so much that they're pro-nigger/spic/crime (though that plays, too, at least the first two), it's that they imagine how horrible it truly is, mix in "two wrongs don't make a right" pseudo-philosophy and think up a cause.
there may be some honest sentiment in their opposition. what they dont get is they are the ones with no real respect for human life. executions show respect for the executed. "corrections" do not.

Quote:
Same with the sundry environmental stuff. The rank & file greenie. . .many of them actually imagine themselves as whales, etc. . .or even trees. PETA people might be the ultimate example of this mentality run amok.
yeah, college girls. but the ones behind them are quite cynical.

Quote:
And the cafeteria person. . .I can say with 99.9% certainty that it's a young White woman--even without the Jezebel reference. Just like in these environmental groups it's 90+% White.
yeah. they're almost all white. and pseudo-educated. they're dumb in the way only smart people can be.

Quote:
Probably the same phenomenon in the pro-life movement. It fits the pattern.
i learned a lot from observing a huge dc rally for and against abortion. women seem, because they cry, to be more sensitive than men, but truly they are not.
 
Old November 25th, 2010 #8
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I'm done with feeling like I'm less worthwhile of a person due to my fat; no one's ever going to make me feel like that again, EVER.
 
Old November 25th, 2010 #9
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The term Special* Joke itself seems like it fits the definition of a special joke. Ala, a joke that's not funny, the short bus of jokes. Which is itself unintentionally funny.

I hear space-time ripping, and the joke's on me.
 
Old November 25th, 2010 #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Linder View Post
I realized I have an AMAZING group of friends. They brought me every type of candy they could think of. One baked me a massive cupcake
My favorite candy is mentos.

Deee-licious.
 
Old November 26th, 2010 #11
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I've got a funny one:

From Darius Appleby, and this was meant as a positive....

"Lineage means little to nothing for most Australians."
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Old November 26th, 2010 #12
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On ozzies:

"I always get to hear them saying something silly, I was in Dublin a while ago and 'they' were on the bus and one said to the other one 'why are all the street signs in French and English?'

I felt like slapping them."
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Old November 26th, 2010 #13
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Which reminds me of my own encounter with 'them' in Paris:

"So, is there anywhere decent to go around here?"
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Old November 26th, 2010 #14
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Or how about this crackerjack overheard by an ozzy sow in some local market:

“I reckon sage & pumpkin go together like two gay men go together beautifully.”
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Old November 26th, 2010 #15
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In a store where some young ozzie skrangers were playing a videogame:

"what's accelerate? oh that's go, isn't it?"
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Old November 27th, 2010 #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad View Post
In a store where some young ozzie skrangers were playing a videogame:
What's a 'skranger'?
 
Old November 27th, 2010 #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad View Post
Or how about this crackerjack overheard by an ozzy sow in some local market:

I reckon sage & pumpkin go together like two gay men go together beautifully.
This is hillarious.:
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Old November 27th, 2010 #18
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Overheard this morning on a "Planet Green" channel documentary called "Expedition Borneo:"

Quote:
Little is known about the pictures or the artists who painted them. They are proof that ancient man lived here in harmony with nature.
 
Old November 27th, 2010 #19
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My Mom and My Step Dad use to quarrel all the time. One night in Liberia is got physical and My mother Bit my step dad.

I used to hate it when they Quarrel. Thank God they do not live together anymore. I have a Peace of Mind!!!
 
Old November 27th, 2010 #20
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Originally posted by UAR Group

You dont seen to understand. Nigger is not a racist word if you research it.
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