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Old January 5th, 2009 #21
bmwbiker
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no fags in that police
 
Old January 5th, 2009 #22
Neil Hudson
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Old January 5th, 2009 #23
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Old January 6th, 2009 #24
bmwbiker
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and here is one with some irony:






this one is true democraty

 
Old January 8th, 2009 #25
Jess_Smith
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Default Men Are Happier People

NICKNAMES
  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
  • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
  • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
  • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
  • A woman has the last word in any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
  • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
  • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY


A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

 
Old January 8th, 2009 #26
Bassanio
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Quote:
and here is one with some irony:



These two were created by jews.
__________________
The Goy cries out in ecstasy as the Jew strikes him.
 
Old January 8th, 2009 #27
Brett Quinn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bassanio View Post
These two were created by jews.
Good call. Those struck me as Jewy too.
 
Old January 10th, 2009 #29
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Old January 11th, 2009 #30
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Old January 11th, 2009 #31
Jess_Smith
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Why, Why, Why...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

Why does someoneBelieve you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,Why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses Are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

 
Old January 11th, 2009 #32
Jess_Smith
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Old January 11th, 2009 #33
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Old January 11th, 2009 #34
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Old January 11th, 2009 #35
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Old January 11th, 2009 #36
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Old January 11th, 2009 #37
Mike Mazzone of Palatine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BryanVP View Post
bahahahahahaha thats horrible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adolf Croata View Post



the artist!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteNightshade View Post
NICKNAMES
  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
  • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
  • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
  • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
  • A woman has the last word in any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
  • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
  • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY


A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

http://www.theobamaforum.com/showpos...91&postcount=6
 
Old January 11th, 2009 #38
Jess_Smith
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Old January 11th, 2009 #39
Mike Mazzone of Palatine
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Old January 11th, 2009 #40
Adi18
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Did you hear about that new tank israel is making?
It's quite the impressive machine, it can stop on a dime, and pick it up too!
It can also keep a kyke safe inside while they blow up children throwing rocks at the tank! Drumroll crash!!
 
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