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Old March 15th, 2015 #1
Breanna
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Default how does one overcome vanity

I am trying to overcome my worst character trait, vanity, trying to be more humble and not crave praise, to do things more selflessly instead of wanting praise and recognition. If somebody without vanity can advise, or somebody who has gone through a change from vanity to humility, I would appreciate. I also invite others to work at ridding themselves of their own character flaws.

When I try to look up advice about this issue I mostly find Catholic material, and it is pretty disheartening because it says that trying not to be vain is vain lol. And tell me the only way to overcome such a fault is through prayer and confession. But I am not Christian.
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Last edited by Breanna; March 15th, 2015 at 09:31 PM.
 
Old March 15th, 2015 #2
Ossian
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Is it a fault to hold a high opinion of oneself, it it's accurate and true? It is not. But it is if it's false.
Craving praise is usually a sign of insecurity, of having a low--not a high--opinion of oneself. (As are false boasts, and excessive worrying about one's 'virtues,' and unnecessary cruelty, and a whole lot of other unpleasant character flaws.)

"In brief, she assumed that I, being a man, was vain to the point of imbecility--and this assumption was correct, as it always is." --HLM
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Old March 15th, 2015 #3
M.N. Dalvez
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You're in a routine where you're more than capable of doing what you have to do.

My suggestion is to apply yourself to a task which you are not currently capable of, but can become so with hard work and a lot of failure. That will take your arrogance down a few notches, and (with hard work) will also teach you some valuable new skills.

Trust me - I have been 'guilty' of arrogance and vanity in the past, and occasionally still am. This is a good, and productive, way to temper some of that stuff.

Alternatively, if you're vain about your looks ... well, straight razors are pretty cheap. Apply the razor to the problem, and hey presto, no more problem!
 
Old March 15th, 2015 #4
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I think women's need for approval is more biological than something that can be easily overcome. Most women have it, some don't. I've never heard of one changing that behavior. Maybe managed to a lesser degree by being less insecure.
 
Old March 15th, 2015 #5
Vance Stubbs
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Meditate on people you consider superior to yourself.
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Old March 23rd, 2015 #6
T.Garrett
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Wink problem?

Is your vanity a 'problem' for others? Might be that you need new friends, insecure/failed individuals will always find a thousand reasons to tear you down.

I assume this perceived fault doesn't rise to the level of the sociopathic (the mentally ill are seldom introspective regarding their behavior) so I would say let it go and carry on.

Cheers!
 
Old March 23rd, 2015 #7
cillian
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Quote:
Originally Posted by T.Garrett View Post
Is your vanity a 'problem' for others? Might be that you need new friends, insecure/failed individuals will always find a thousand reasons to tear you down.

I assume this perceived fault doesn't rise to the level of the sociopathic (the mentally ill are seldom introspective regarding their behavior) so I would say let it go and carry on.

Cheers!
Vanity is not having a high opinion of oneself, that is pride, or if it is unwarranted, arrogance.

Vanity is the need for others to have a high opinion of you. It is a sign of insecurity and low self esteem.
 
Old March 23rd, 2015 #8
T.Garrett
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cillian View Post
Vanity is not having a high opinion of oneself, that is pride, or if it is unwarranted, arrogance.

Vanity is the need for others to have a high opinion of you. It is a sign of insecurity and low self esteem.
OK, thanks for clarifying the issue for me cillian.

I was making light in my twisted way of the original post, did you actually take him/her seriously?

Cheers!
 
Old March 24th, 2015 #9
Alex Linder
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breanna View Post
I am trying to overcome my worst character trait, vanity, trying to be more humble and not crave praise, to do things more selflessly instead of wanting praise and recognition. If somebody without vanity can advise, or somebody who has gone through a change from vanity to humility, I would appreciate. I also invite others to work at ridding themselves of their own character flaws.

When I try to look up advice about this issue I mostly find Catholic material, and it is pretty disheartening because it says that trying not to be vain is vain lol. And tell me the only way to overcome such a fault is through prayer and confession. But I am not Christian.
- dont look in mirrors, just to check before you go out
- focus on others or a cause, rather than yourself
- focus on admiring others, finding people to look up to, rather than looking down in criticism.
- learn new stuff; starting from nothing is always a little humbling
 
Old March 24th, 2015 #10
Jimmy Marr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breanna View Post
I am trying to overcome my worst character trait, vanity, trying to be more humble and not crave praise, to do things more selflessly instead of wanting praise and recognition. If somebody without vanity can advise, or somebody who has gone through a change from vanity to humility, I would appreciate. I also invite others to work at ridding themselves of their own character flaws.

When I try to look up advice about this issue I mostly find Catholic material, and it is pretty disheartening because it says that trying not to be vain is vain lol. And tell me the only way to overcome such a fault is through prayer and confession. But I am not Christian.
Here's best book I've read on the subject, and I've read it many times. The good news is it's only eighty pages long. The bad news is it's extremely difficult to understand. The great news is that if, at long last, you are able to understand it, you will thereby have become humble. No action is required. Understanding it is all you have to do. Everything else takes care of itself and thus cannot serve as additional fuel for the bonfire of vanities.

You will also find fascinating similarities between this book and William Pierce's The Path.

http://selfdefinition.org/zen/Hubert...ealization.pdf

Last edited by Jimmy Marr; March 24th, 2015 at 05:39 PM.
 
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