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January 18th, 2014 | #41 |
Witness to Genocide
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Location: Where there are no PAKIS and NIGGERS
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The real Kwanadians are too stupid and too brainwashed to realize that their country is being destroyed by massive third world immigration. The government dumps a whole bunch of niggers, pakis and gooks into an all-white neighborhood. As soon as the mud flood hits, all the real Kwanadians pack up and leave. Some of them will swear up and down that their flight had nothing to do with all the niggers and other shitskins infesting the neighborhood. They only talk like that to avoid accusations of "racism" by the Canuckistani thought police. However, we all know what the real reason was; no self-respecting white man wants to be surrounded by nappy-headed afros and smelly hijaabs.
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January 18th, 2014 | #42 |
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Fawlty Towers: IMO the funniest show of all time. Genius slapstick coupled with the unique snob-nasty-bitterness of the Brits.
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"First: Do No Good." - The Hymiecratic Oath "The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin |
January 18th, 2014 | #43 |
Pussy Bünd "Commander"
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Location: land of the Friedman, home of the Braverman
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John Cleese? Now, he's funny!
A Fish Called Wanda ranks up there with Caddyshack on the laff-o-meter.
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Worse than a million megaHitlers all smushed together. |
January 19th, 2014 | #44 | ||
Switching to glide
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Poetry is usually a self-indulgent affectation. For long stretches, Morrison was high or drunk, or both, pretty much 24/7. That's hard on a guy. Quote:
I take it the Sagehens weren't a solid road team. I'm 3 episodes into Ken Burn's plodding but occasionally insightful Baseball on Netflix at the moment. Learned Abner Doubleday not only didn't invent/codify Baseball, he most likely never even saw a game played. Did you know that African-American players were discriminated against in the past? Burns will remind you, with solemn-sounding voiceovers over sepia images of 19th century blacks in uniforms, roughly every 120 seconds or so. I half-expected Sarah McLachlan to start singing over the lingering shots. And this was produced in 1994.
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"When US gets nuked and NEMO is uninhabitable, I will make my way on foot to the gulf and live off red snapper and grapefruit"- Alex Linder |
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January 19th, 2014 | #45 | |
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Location: Crawlin' from the wreckage
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I think there were 1500 hardback and 3000 paperback copies of the first edition. I couldn't get $50 for it back then. I left it at my folks house along with some other stuff when I moved out and they eventually chucked it. Try reading it sometime, it's the senseless ramblings of a wet brained inebriate. |
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January 19th, 2014 | #46 |
Switching to glide
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John Cleese, now that's brilliant physical comedy in my opinion.
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"When US gets nuked and NEMO is uninhabitable, I will make my way on foot to the gulf and live off red snapper and grapefruit"- Alex Linder |
January 19th, 2014 | #47 | ||||
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How does someone not check the fucking weather before you drive eight hours? How does that not happen? I don't care if the internet doesn't exist yet. Back then, I was underclassman, just keeping my mouth shut and doing whatever I could to help out. Many, many things should have been otherwise, but on one ever asked me. Quote:
Shit, we had some people. I think I'm the only one who didn't go on to be lawyer. We had a jew on our team with a horsecock. I didn't know him well, but he was very genial, a not very good pitcher, always laughing. Didn't have that jew paranoia. Every day he'd come in there with a towel up and down over his prodigious appendage and say "I am not an animal...I am a man!" while laughing like an idiot. The Elephant Man theme, you may recall. Then his outfielder friend he was flashing would be say, ":Goddamit, Sternie, I'd like to go just one day without seeing that thing." This was the routine. Our best player was a jack Mormon, Carl Curtis. Real good guy, I lockered next to him. He hit 3 HRs in one game at least twice when I saw it. He'd been scouted, as had our shortstop, but was a little too old. Guys in SCIAC are 6'1" 210, whereas the same guy at UCLA is 6'5" 250. He could hit for power. He used to give me lots of useful advice. "Linder, did you know if you turn your underwear inside out you can wear it another three days?" I got lots of advice. "You look like a fucking Ethopian. Eat some food." I was 6'1" 160. Skinny for a baseball player. It's a sport that really works well for those with barrel chests and popeye forearms - think Pete Rose. "Linder - you need to get a girlfriend and sleep with her all summer." Still one of the stranger things I recall...we're on a bus, coming back from a game. I'm reflecting on something I did wrong, or didn't do well enough, for that is the way of my people. Out of nowhere, through the busly din, I hear "Hacksaw Reynolds had the biggest balls in the NFL." It was Coach Maher, used to be with the Denver Gold. WTF? He was the same one who gave me the gf advice. Lot of our guys were football players. It was fun. I miss the weather. I even miss our crazy coach. He didn't really like me, even though I kept my mouth shut and did nothing but help. I backup-caught our freshman pitchers, helped them improve. I took 58-foot curveballs off my wrists. Those were flung by Ashcraft, a genuinely funny guy. Totally arrogant - spitting image of James Caan's son. Had the skin on his nose so burned from surfing he had to wear a nose shade. Would brag incessantly about being on Junior Olympics, whatever the fuck that is. Claimed his fastball was in 90s. I never could be sure whether he was deliberately bouncing stuff just to be a dick. One of the most arrogant guys I've ever met, but he got away with it because he was genuinely funny. He ended up getting in a fight with our coach, and our whole team had to boycott until the coach calmed his sometimes crazy ways. "I didn't call YOU horseshit...I called your pitching horseshit!" He was a little crazy. He had very light blue eyes, and you'd look in them trying to locate something and...not really there. He was an ex-UCLA lineman from the '50s. He benched me for the only two games my parents showed up for (from out of state) because the game before I'd mentioned I was going to try to hit an HR, since I was the only starter who hadn't. We were ahead of Cal-Tech 17-3, so no danger of losing. But I only managed a flyout to deep right. We had to chase down foul balls ourselves. His rule was that if you weren't playing, you had to run down to the scoreboard, down the rightfield line, between innings. One inning, I go chase a foul ball, long off to the right, over the fence, in the dirty ivy where the rats and spiders live. I get back right as the next half inning is starting. There's no real foul territory, just a fence, so I can't really run down to the scoreboard while the game is going on. This is later used against me. Injustice, coach! Jesus. Trying to be helpful. I've actually wondered over the years if the coach just plain didn't like me, but concealed it. And if that were the case, it was surely from the campus politics I was involved in. The more I've thought about it over the years, I think that may have been the case. I hit over .400 as a sophomore, but I only started about half the games, and way down in the order. Like I said, most people just did it for fun, going for full power swings. I always did what was likeliest to help the team - drive the ball up the middle, best way to get on. My one selfish act was to try to hit a HR against Cal-Tech, but I didn't waste dozens of at-bats hitting flyball outs instead of singles. Eh... those are my baseball memories. Did I say Burns is a putz? A PC putz, too. I bet he shit on Ty Cobb, the greatest baseball player who ever lived, and an excellent businessman/investor, too. Quote:
Here's something you can use. Everyone should use it, if they get in these kind of discussions. Two things - notice the similarity in style. The thought process is the same. 1) How could Germany, the most advanced/civilized/educated nation of the time, have turned against the jews? Responses: a) BECAUSE they were the most educated nation of their times... (or whatever adjective they used - advanced, civilized - just say THAT'S WHY b) Say that again...slower...and just maybe you can figure it out. Which leads them on their own back to a). You've induced an epiphany. At best. Or at least planted a Hmm Seed (tm). Then follow up with, you know how Germans lead the way in lots of technology, like automotive and such? Well, they were ahead in political engineering too... They figured out the jew, while we're still under its thumb. Try to turn the world upside down for them. Think the unthinkable. Play it flat, matter of fact. Like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Be even-eyed. Don't flush or twist or vibrate. An Aryan telling the truth should strive to be as unembarrassed as a jew telling a lie. Now, the second one relates to baseball. Whenever Babe Ruth is brought up, you hear: Oh, I wonder how he would have done if he'd played against the Negro Leaguers. Flip this. Say: "I wonder how those Negro Leaguers would have done if they'd had to play against Babe Ruth." Then grin really slowly, in a most obnoxious way, let it unfurl over your face like the Grinch. BAM, you sir are EXPLODED, with chitlin residue all over your anti-white face. Fun fact: the Nigger Leagues didn't keep serious stats, so all their claims are nigger bullshit. I forgot one baseball story my Indian friend, who went on to work for Goldman Sachs used to laugh about. The black guy on our team used to claim he was related to the Thigpen in the major leagues - until he discovered that Thigpen was white. Anyway, Donnie, my point was: what I said is what baseball is REALLY like. I've read a ton of baseball books, I'd recommend Ball Four by Jim Bouton. "He had two favorite cusswords. One was shitfuck. And the other was fuckshit." Last edited by Alex Linder; January 20th, 2014 at 03:07 AM. |
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January 19th, 2014 | #48 | |
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January 19th, 2014 | #49 | |
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"First: Do No Good." - The Hymiecratic Oath "The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin |
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January 19th, 2014 | #50 | |
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"First: Do No Good." - The Hymiecratic Oath "The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin |
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January 19th, 2014 | #51 |
Switching to glide
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Enjoyed reading that. Glory Days, eh? I can hear Springsteen already. Being married to a Bruce Springsteen fan is true Conrad-esque Heart of Darkness shit right there.
I played baseball in HS, and poorly, mostly because all my friends at the time from the football team did, and I wasn't about to join the wrestling team. The wrestling coach was an assistant coach on the football team, and was a fucking nut. He had done a couple of tours in Vietnam, and took life a little too fucking seriously for me, personally. Our baseball team was very good. Our football team was not good. We got beat more often than Tina Turner on weekends. We would be down 42-7 at the half, and in the locker room while you're just trying to figure out who's driving to the party after the game, this guy is staring you down like you let his best buddy from back in the World bleed out at Hue. Relax, man. You're not the one getting hit. Funny baseball movie: Bull Durham. The interaction between Costner & Robbins in scenes on the mound are classic. Susan Sarandon was smoking hot in that. Superior to Sheen The Minor's true opus Major League, in my opinion. The Bad News Bears is pretty funny as well. Funny football movie: Semi-Tough. Burt Reynolds and a surprisingly decent actor in Kris Kristofferson do comedy. The Longest Yard, the original with Reynolds, of course. Funny.
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"When US gets nuked and NEMO is uninhabitable, I will make my way on foot to the gulf and live off red snapper and grapefruit"- Alex Linder |
January 19th, 2014 | #52 | |
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"Alright men, now here's the play we're gonna use. I don't think the guards know this formation. It's called 'incidental punishment after the ball is blown dead.' Remember, any man you tackle gets an elbow, knee, or kick in the mouth." "You know what my problem has been all my life? I've always had my shit together. Always. My problem's been I couldn't lift it."
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"First: Do No Good." - The Hymiecratic Oath "The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin |
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January 19th, 2014 | #53 |
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January 19th, 2014 | #54 |
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I played organized hockey as a kid in the early 70's.
This short video precludes the latter one, that is to fully understand The Hanson Brothers. |
January 19th, 2014 | #55 |
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January 20th, 2014 | #56 |
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This isn't from TV, but needs to be shown wherever Ken Burns' baseball show is mentioned: Blackstronauts of The Old Negro Space Program
Oldie/goodie but there's a few out there who haven't seen it yet. Made by jewish student who can get away with it easier, but still funny as hell. There goes loopy louie (Where's he goin', friend?) If I know Loopie Louie, He shootin' up again (zat right?) He shootin up again (don't tell me) he's shootin up again (aww shit) lmao I don't know where they got that little film clip for the part about "peter 'stinky pete' carver" being launched aflame into the tree, but that cracks me up every time and this video is the only place I've ever seen it.
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No time for the old in 'n out, love. I've just come to read the meter. |
January 20th, 2014 | #57 | |
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"First: Do No Good." - The Hymiecratic Oath "The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin |
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January 20th, 2014 | #58 | ||
Switching to glide
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My baseball brush with fame was getting into a fairly serious collision at 1B with Paul O'Neill, who went on to play for the Reds and Yankees. Quote:
Seems that a few blacks did indeed play on late 19th/early 20th century professional teams. One of them played SS, and the white players would "sacrifice being tagged out by pulling up short in a slide with which they used their spikes to strike his shins". Or something like that. Which begged, at least to me, the question as to why players still slide into base today?
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"When US gets nuked and NEMO is uninhabitable, I will make my way on foot to the gulf and live off red snapper and grapefruit"- Alex Linder Last edited by Donnie in Ohio; January 20th, 2014 at 07:19 AM. |
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January 20th, 2014 | #59 | |||
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Re the HR attempt - I happened to mention my little plan to our starting catcher, a good guy named Spinnetta. So he started his whole Peter Popoff routine, "listen to Linder," blah blah blah, laughing hiss ass off cause he knew it was out of character (a), and (b) wasn't happening. So of course the coach just happens to overhear this... If someone in position of authority doesn't like you, all he needs is a pretext. I gave him one. I can blame only myself, really, although in my heart I thought it was pretty chickenshit. Now, it didn't help the team in the ensuing double-header to put in other guy, a particularly jewy jew who played right field behind me, but yes, I'm sure you're right. It was a free lesson in moral edification. I guess I could look at it like that, but let me tell you, playing a double-header on Saturday and sitting your ass on the bench really gets old, even coaching bases and chasing foul balls like a two-footed dog. He finally relented and stuck me in as baserunner in second game. People. The way they think. Who can figure it? Nah, my glory days athletically peaked at 12. I was the big star player, shortstop, pitcher. I could throw strikes every time. When you're young, that makes the difference. Once kids grow, and I stayed small until I was nearly out of high school, simply throwing strikes isn't enough. I still remember when I knew I wasn't going pro. This guy named Steve Johnson got in. Threw him an inside strike, this is in So Cal in '70s, he hits it about fifty feet over the left-field fence, but ten yards foul. Next pitch, he hits over the right-center fence. Then I realized, damn, I need a curveball or a lot stronger arm. Neither of which was in the cards. I will admit to hopes to going pro, as many kids have, but I have an uncle who made AAA, and was starting SS at ASU in the sixties, ASU being one of the top baseball programs. He was in the A's org, played for San Jose. But never made the majors, got injured, which at least kept him out of Vietnam. But he had a very different build than I do. Short, very strong, could walk fifty yards on his hands, according to my mom. Great fielder but light hitter. Our shortstop was a marine type, ROTC, as well as a football player. He was a funny guy, good leader, along with our best player, Curtis. One time he had to go, so he let me play shortstop while he was gone. But only if I tried some dip. He was the distributor for that nasty shit. So I tried some. But unlike my Indian friend, I didn't get hooked on. That stuff is fucking nasty. Anyway, I played SS one game in college, went 3 for 5, and made no errors. But...it took every ounce of my being to make the out throw on an ordinary ground ball. What I realized was you have to be basically a genetic freak to have a strong enough arm to play infield in any kind of serious baseball. Almost no one has it, I certainly don't, I'm rag armed. I played right field - I see these guys in the majors make one hop throws to third base, or throw it all the way home, I couldn't do that in a million years. "A man's got to know his limitations." I could hit the ball up the middle and get on base about half the time. I hit the ball up the middle and got on base about half the time. I could stand in the outfield and catch 90% of normal flyballs. I stook in the outfield and caught normal flyballs. Hard-hit balls went by me or over me. I could throw the ball to the cut-off man on 2-3 bounces (as opposed to sailing it over his head in a wild attempt to duplicate something that only people with superior physical skills could do). I threw the ball on 2-3 bounces to the cutoff man. One does what one can, if one is wise. Quote:
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My favorite Cobb anecdote, and I remember the quote exactly. Cobb's at this banquet. And some catcher from a competing team is joking about how he didn't really tag Cobb on some plays at the plate. Cobb gets up an attacks him. "You stole runs from me. Runs that I earned!" These media faggots all hate Cobb because he was 1) Southern, 2) sharp as a tack, 3) anti-nigger, 4) didn't take any shit from anybody, as opposed to being ingratiating or self-effacing, the way these mealy worms prefer. Only Babe Ruth is in the argument with him for the greatest player ever. Ruth is more American in that he's got the big extroverted larger-than-life persona and Rabelasian appetites people generally love in a public figure (see Rob Ford), and he proved he could pitch as well as hit, but in pure baseball terms, I think Cobb was the best player ever. Last edited by Alex Linder; January 20th, 2014 at 05:48 PM. |
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January 20th, 2014 | #60 |
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Cobb hated the home run mania that Ruth started, believing that baseball was about running the bases. One time, he hit a load of homers in a game, just to prove that he could do what Babe did.
I was an athletic retard. I remember playing baseball in gym once in elementary school: I was at bat and swung for the non-existent fences - and farted in the process: all the other kids (including of course the girls, which was worst of all) burst out laughing; I fell down like I'd been shot dead - and wished I had been....
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"First: Do No Good." - The Hymiecratic Oath "The man who does not exercise the first law of nature—that of self preservation — is not worthy of living and breathing the breath of life." - John Wesley Hardin |
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