I need some advice about my life

[Lauren Inniss]

Hello everyone,

Lately I have been worrying about my future and I don't have anyone else to talk to other than my significant other. My goals in life are to have 5 children and some land (not much) to raise rabbits for meat and grow a few crops for my family. Anybody else in my life who I try to talk to about my concerns in reaching these goals just tell me to give them up, that I have no reason to need land, and that 5 children is too many. It would be nice and I would greatly appreciate it to get a fresh perspective from a fellow white nationalist who is outside of the situation and may be able to think of new ideas for us.

Let's even say forget the land. Let's say I just settle on getting out of the city into a whiter, more rural area where I can raise my children. I live in Toronto, which is an incredibly horrible city. I don't even need to get into that, as anyone who has been here can understand why it's so bad. The suburb we live in is pretty much all old quiet white people, but I can't stay in this one neighbourhood all the time. I have to leave it almost every day - to go to work, to buy groceries, run errands, and so on. It's really, really hard to leave Toronto. It's almost like a cycle. The jobs are here - my boyfriend and I would both have to quit our jobs if we left. Yet the living expenses are so high that it is very difficult to save up money. Even if we wanted to leave, could secure a job somewhere else, we would not have the money necessary to transport all our stuff, pay first-last rent to our new place, or pay any other moving related expenses. We absolutely do not want to raise our children in this hell-hole, but I am 20 years old already, and I want FIVE kids, and my fertility will not last forever.

Neither me or my boyfriend have any skills. He is a good speaker and works at sales jobs. He makes about $1600 a month. I work in a barn and make about $1000 a month, depending on what shifts I get. Our rent is $900, my groceries $150, his groceries $350. Our bus passes are $109 each per month. I am quite good at budgeting but there are always a million other expenses that always come up! I have $3000 in savings but he has virtually nothing. We are both heavily in debt. I attended business school for a year and a half before he took me out of that ZOG institution, but while I was there I ended up getting myself $15,000 in debt. My father cosigned on the loan, and I feel bad to declare bankruptcy, because it means he would have to pay it all. My father has betrayed me in many ways I won't get into, and my boyfriend tells me not to feel bad about doing that to my father. But my heart still keeps me from doing it. My boyfriend is in a lot of debt too, because he went about 8 months a while ago without being able to find a job, and while he was unemployed he paid all of his expenses by credit card and had ridiculously high interest. Creditors call bothering him all the time, but he intends to declare bankruptcy.

He tells me not to worry, but I am very worried about the future sometimes. I want my goals to come true (leave the city, move to rural white area, have 5 children) and I often feel that they will not. The amount of money I need to do that seems insurmountable. My boyfriend will inherit his father's business when he retires. It is a printing shop, and his father seems pretty well-off although I am not sure exactly how much he makes. However, his father is in his late 40s, so who knows when he will retire. Maybe he will not retire until he is in his late 60s - another 20 years! By that time I will be in MY 40s and I will definately be barren by then!

My boyfriend, in the meantime, says he wants to save up money and start a landscaping business. I think that he should go to trade school or college and get a skilled trade so that he can find steady employment, but he is obsessed with the landscaping thing! It doesn't make much sense to me. By the time he can save up enough money to start that up a good number of years will have passed! And even if it does get going, who knows whether it is going to be successful in the beginning, or even in later years? And even if it is successful, landscaping is a seasonal thing. And I would prefer the security of him having a steady wage, rather than being a business owner. I am as supportive as possible and do my best not to worry, but I do. I really do worry a lot. Because I would like to start having children at age 24 at the latest. We are getting married in 2011 and ideally I would like to start having children right after that, at age 22. But where do we get the money? He will not even consider going to school for a trade - he says he does not have enough money to go to school, and that he could never get a loan because his credit is destroyed. What are we supposed to do?

He wants to be able to support me (as a stay at home mom) as well as 5 children - that's 6 people for one man to support! As a back up, if it is needed, I will ride racehorses in the morning to help supplement our family income. If I rode racehorses I could make $100 a day, 7 days a week, cash in hand no tax. That's a lot of money! It is very easy to get work as an exercise rider just by being pretty, however I need to train more before I could get to that level. I need to exercise and become strong, as well as train in riding horses. To exercise and become strong, I need free time. To train in riding I have two options. I could get trained for free, but I would need to go live with a man in a town that is a little bit far away from where we live right now. I would be seperated from my boyfriend living with another man (who is 60 years old) and who knows what he will try to do with me. My boyfriend won't let me go, he thinks it is too dangerous. Alternatively, I could go to a school in Alberta for 3 months and learn everything I need to know, but this would cost me $5000. I am sure I could save up the money if I work diligently right now. However, to even get into that school, I need to pass a fitness test and a riding test. So I need free time to exercise in the meantime, as well as money so that I can ride right now! For a riding coach I can either travel two hours away and pay $200 a month (which would mean 4 hours in transportation time on my training day, making it pretty impossible to work that day and therefore make money), or I could pay $430 a month and go to a closer one.

I work about 20-25 hours a week right now, but my work is an hour and a half away so I spend 3 hours on the bus for every day that I work. I am thinking of taking a second job but that would leave me with very little time for cooking or exercising, and I need to cook for my man and I need to exercise if I want to get strong enough to ride racehorses. Right now I work as a groom at a show barn and I make SHIT money. I have trouble getting jobs because frankly, I have poor customer service skills and pretty much all available jobs for people with no skills are in the customer service field. I am kind of clumsy, and a bit stupid sometimes, and I am not good at much other than working with animals and cooking and cleaning. My boss at my job right now has the hots for me, as did my boss at my previous job at the racetrack (which I left because there are too many niggers at the track), and I think maybe they wanted me working for them only for that reason. Still, I need to get a second job or I'll never be able to save up money!

I am considering two jobs but have issues with both. I may try to seek out work as a nanny, but my man says this is dangerous - that I would be going to someone's house, and who knows what the person is like? I applied for a job as a nanny before, and I went to the person's house for an interview, and her last name was Rosen - for sure a jew. She lived in the jewish part of town as well, and was going to pay me good money, and liked me and was going to hire me but my boyfriend and I had a talk and decided that it was way too dangerous to be in the home of a jew every day. If I could find a good family to link up with, being a nanny for a while could be very promising. I was also considering working for Hooters, my man once again doesn't want me to do this. He doesn't want people looking at me in that tiny outfit, doesn't want me to have to flirt with people to make money, and is afraid that customers might stalk me and try to follow me after work and stuff like that. It goes so against my personality and against my morals to work in a place like that. I don't want to do it. But the money is good, a girl at my barn works there and she'll make at minimum $100 a day in tips easily - way more for nights where there are special events like football games or car washes. I don't want to go there, but the money seems so good, and I just need to save money. I'm so desperate. At every job I ever had before I was stared at all day long, and had people hitting on me all the time, so I might as well make a ton of money experiencing the same thing, right? I would rather be stared at and hit on and get paid money for it, than do so right now anyways only making the minimum wage.

All in all, everything goes around in a big circle and its so extremely hard for me to make any sense of it all and figure out how to make decisions in my life that will lead to my ultimate goals! I need money for my goals and I am unsure of what route to take. If anyone has a fresh perspective to my situation I would greatly appreciate it. I promise that one day I will bring as many white babies into the world as I possibly can, and I need some advice on how to achieve my goals.

Thank you so much for reading my super long message.

[John in Woodbridge]

I suggest your boyfriend goes into a trade - such as an auto mechanic, plumbing, or other worthwhile trade. For you being a nurse is always in demand. Best of luck.

[PeterKramer]

If you want five children you need to find a man who can support you in a year or two, not ten years from now.

Your boyfriend doesn't sound like he's going to be ready to support you any time soon, if ever. You need to find a good man who has a dependable job or business, already owns a house with some land and who wants to have children.

[Lauren Inniss]

Originally Posted by PeterKramer

If you want five children you need to find a man who can support you in a year or two, not ten years from now.

Your boyfriend doesn't sound like he's going to be ready to support you any time soon, if ever. You need to find a good man who has a dependable job or business, already owns a house with some land and who wants to have children.

Yeah I guess you're right, I should desert the man whom I love and who introduced me to this line of thinking and saved me from the jew, to go with a man who has more money. What a wonderful, moral, and valuable woman I would be then. I didn't even want children before I met this man.

[Lauren Inniss]

I'm looking for honest real advice, we really need to figure out what to do.

[Donald E. Pauly]

Find a retiring Ontario farmer who has no heirs who will make farmers out of you two.

[PeterKramer]

Originally Posted by Lauren Inniss

Yeah I guess you're right, I should desert the man whom I love and who introduced me to this line of thinking and saved me from the jew, to go with a man who has more money. What a wonderful, moral, and valuable woman I would be then. I didn't even want children before I met this man.

Then you're probably going to have to scale back your plans.

Originally Posted by Lauren Inniss

My boyfriend is in a lot of debt too, because he went about 8 months a while ago without being able to find a job, and while he was unemployed he paid all of his expenses by credit card and had ridiculously high interest. Creditors call bothering him all the time, but he intends to declare bankruptcy.

I don't know how it works in Canada, but in the United States bankruptcy means you'll have a hard time buying a home for seven years afterwards unless you can pay cash.

[Lauren Inniss]

Another thing is boy oh boy do I ever love those racehorses. As hard as I try to make myself be a proper woman and housewife and mother, its hard to stay away from that racetrack. Duty versus passion is a hard battle to fight.

[Oy Ze Hate]

Join the Amish.

http://www.wikihow.com/Join-the-Amish

Or if their ways are too spartan, move to Utah, convert to Mormonism, and go to church regularly. Mormons are like the gentile answer to the jews. They stick together and help each other like the jews do, but are very moral and clean living. In other words, they'll help you get set up in Utah and can arrange for many good things to come your way. It's also a very, very white state. And Mormons adamantly promote large families.

The key is you want to be part of an established and tight-knit religious community. That's how you create immediate contacts and network with fellow whites who are generally successful and motivated. And you don't have to believe in heaven and all that nonsense.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2078482_convert-mormonism.html

[George Witzgall]

I say try out living with the 60-yr-old dude who will train you for free. get to know him, etc... if he is a nice guy, be grateful to him and work hard. also, if it doesn't work out and he sexually harasses you, gather some solid evidence and sue him and get some money (he sounds lik a rich guy).

[TowardWewelsburg]

Originally Posted by Lauren Inniss

My boyfriend, in the meantime, says he wants to save up money and start a landscaping business. I think that he should go to trade school or college and get a skilled trade so that he can find steady employment, but he is obsessed with the landscaping thing! It doesn't make much sense to me. By the time he can save up enough money to start that up a good number of years will have passed! And even if it does get going, who knows whether it is going to be successful in the beginning, or even in later years? And even if it is successful, landscaping is a seasonal thing. And I would prefer the security of him having a steady wage, rather than being a business owner. I am as supportive as possible and do my best not to worry, but I do. I really do worry a lot. Because I would like to start having children at age 24 at the latest. We are getting married in 2011 and ideally I would like to start having children right after that, at age 22. But where do we get the money? He will not even consider going to school for a trade - he says he does not have enough money to go to school, and that he could never get a loan because his credit is destroyed. What are we supposed to do?

He is not going to be able to start a business with no money, ruined credit, and no marketable skills with which to earn significant savings.

He may want to start his own business (wouldn't we all?) but he needs to be able to support himself and his family, and those needs have to supersede his inclination towards acquiring a landscaping business through some ambiguous means in the distant future. He should bite the bullet and learn a trade, as that would allow him to begin making decent money and provide you with the option of moving to a healthier area of the country.

Good luck!

[Thomas de Aynesworth]

I was talking to Lauren just now and told her to look into starting a small business. Also, if you scratch the land idea, for now, and put it on the backburner. It's doable, you just need to find the niche to get started in.

[McKinley]

Originally Posted by PeterKramer

If you want five children you need to find a man who can support you in a year or two, not ten years from now.

Are you suggesting that she whore herself out?

[COTW]

Financially it looks like the lawn business is the best option. You could even help him since you only work 20-25 hours a week and you're good looks, as you state, could even help gather clients.

Getting clients will be the hardest thing to do but once you get enough to break even your moral will be flying high.

It doesn't even have to be a lawn business, house cleaning or a in home daycare (if you have the room) could be something you both could help build up.

Best of luck to you.

[Alex Linder]

You're spending 900 a month on rent? For two people? In Canada? What are you living in? That seems way high to me. As does 500/month in food. You should be able to cut large chunks out of those expenses.

You have to figure a way to live BELOW your expenses so that you are getting ahead each month. You're not living below your means but ABOVE your means. 900 where I am would rent a six-bedroom house. Get a 1br apt, quit eating out, are two best places to start.

[TowardWewelsburg]

Toronto is expensive, Alex.

Here in Northern NJ, it is almost impossible to find a 1br apartment for under $1000 a month. Decent (not luxury) two bedroom apartments are more like $1500.

Other residents of NJ can confirm this outrage.

[Alex Linder]

Originally Posted by TowardWewelsburg

Toronto is expensive, Alex.

Here in Northern NJ, it is almost impossible to find a 1br apartment for under $1000 a month. Decent (not luxury) two bedroom apartments are more like $1500.

Other residents of NJ can confirm this outrage.

Ok...

Then the revised answer is that the two cannot afford to live in Toronto. Rent shouldn't be more than about 1/4 of your income, and less if you're trying to build up and get ahead.

[elbwgreez]

Originally Posted by Alex Linder

Ok...

Then the revised answer is that the two cannot afford to live in Toronto. Rent shouldn't be more than about 1/4 of your income, and less if you're trying to build up and get ahead.

Yes. 1/4 your income is the standard rate you should aim for, at least for an individual. $1,600 per month (Canadian) seems very low for a sales in Toronto. I hope that's after taxes. Kievsky posted a story about an online college you can take for $100 a month. Maybe that would help both of your make a better wage.

http://www.vnnforum.com/showthread.p...ght=straighter

My advise is to have the children immediately. That is more important than anything. Aren't your medical expenses at least taken care of in Canada? If so so should take advantage.

At the same time, live below your means and pay off your debt. In other words, you need to sacrifice your comfort to insure the survival of your offspring. Good luck.

[notmenomore]

Lauren Inniss, you have this thread in the "How to Live White" sub-forum, so you and your man - both of you and together - need to get down to actually living White in the modern world. Actually living it means a very different, and somewhat more severe lifestyle than merely wanting it. Sacrifice and a lot of very hard work will be the path for you both along the way to reach the goals you seek.

At 20-25 hours per week (with a ridiculously long commute) you are in effect only working part-time. You should be working at least 40-50 hours every week. Your man should be working at least 60 hours every week, more if possible. Both of you need to make your working hours count. They should pay as much as possible. You should not factor in very much of how much you may or may not "enjoy" the work you are doing: at least not right now.

If you are seriously considering the Hooters job, then you should be able to go for it. Hooters are OK restaurants, and they have lots of training and security in place to protect their waitresses against stalking and harrassment. If you're fortunate enough to have the good looks for it, that is sure a resource you and your man should not ignore.

I think your biggest problem is going to be with getting your man motivated. He needs to get down to some serious work and get the pie-in-the-sky daydreams about "having his own business" under control. Trade skills are a way (I make more than twice what the both of you do, but it takes a swing shift and 60+ hours a week - plus the apprenticeship years - to get there). My wife makes twice what the both of you do as a high end clerk. (Much too old to do the Hooters thing!) But trade skills are not the only way at all. In fact, trade skills are probably the lowest paid of the career areas. If your man can really sell, then that's what he needs to be doing, since professional salesmen can make really big bucks. Hard work, itz, but the money is always there for the top producers.

The "own business" thing? Once you have some success and some financial stability, then it's always a possibility to use even more time to try the waters there - usually as a side-work venture to see if it can grow and develop. Having one's own business - an actual successful business - is a lot more work than working at a job. The sacrifices will be very considerable for the first few years, and it will be impossible without plenty of start-up capital. Alex's advice is paramount: you must absolutely get your outgo less than your income: something it now seems that neither of you have so far managed well at all. This you must start on TODAY!

Bankruptcy may actually be a good idea, provided that you have already learned to successfully live within your means. Don't worry about the 7 years to a house. From what you've written, there's no house in your immediate future regardless. Getting your bills paid via bankruptcy may be the most expedient route to financial recovery (which is the first requisite to a landed, familied future). I've known too many people who decided to suck it up and struggle on - fighting their creditors and making payments. Ten years later they are often still in the same boat - only worse off.

Does your man know your hopes for your future? Does he agree with and desire those same things? The both of you must be struggling (and a struggle it is sure to be) towards a common goal or else nothing's going to happen in that direction. If your man is not going to take the lead in partnering a White future with five children and a little piece of land, then that is not going to be your future with that particular man.

[Bassanio]

I'll assume that those are net income figures you provided, so the both of you together are bringing in 2600 a month. 900 for rent, 500 for food (when that much is going for food I sure hope you're eating well) and 210 on bus passes. That leaves you guys with an extra $1000 per month.

You have to make a payment on your student loan, but your boyfriend doesn't because he's declaring bankruptcy, so let's say that's another expense of $200/month. That leaves $800. Let's take away another $200 for incidentals and you're left with $600.

So you should be able to save up $600 per month right now, and you already have $3000. With that in mind, work another six months in Toronto, save up an additional $3500, take your total savings of $6500, and get the hell out! Both you and your boyfriend!

Go west, to Calgary. Your boyfriend will find a job in sales there no problem, while you'll be able to pursue riding. You can settle down in the NW quadrant of the city, which is about 85% White. Work on getting driver's licenses. Work on buying a car. The less public transportation you have to take the less you'll come in contact with muds. If your boyfriend has no luck in sales then there's still lots of general labour work available which easily pays $2000 net.

If you want to remain in Ontario and are not interested in Calgary, then still do what I wrote above--save for six months, etc--and then get the hell out of Toronto.

Where there's a will, there's a way.